In light of the recent events across our nation, we wanted to help support you and provide some resources for how to talk to your children about racism. We want to emphasize that we love your children and are grateful to be entrusted with part of their spiritual education. Our hope and prayer for them is that they grow in their love for God and His people and in that, to become people who stand and fight for justice. Justice is at the heart of the gospel. Through Jesus Christ, God’s righteous justice is satisfied. As we live out this gospel truth, we are called to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God (Micah 6:8) in light of His generous justice through Christ. We pray not only that our children know through this gospel message that they are deeply loved as people created in the image of God but also that they uphold and fight for this same image of God in others. Jesus did the same as he served and loved the most marginalized and vulnerable members of society–leapers, the woman at the well, the sick and poor. Therefore, it is important for us to teach our children about racism and the injustice that we see today. This is an important teaching opportunity about how we can respond Biblically.

Below are some basic guidelines to guide your conversation. More resources and specific guidelines for your family based on age are listed at the end.

 

  1. Start with the message of the gospel.  Talk to your children about Jesus and His love. The heart of the gospel is love, grace, and justice. God has created us in His image and there is beauty in diversity. Take time to celebrate the unique and beautiful ways God has designed all of us intricately and uniquely. Talk about the Good Samaritan and how he responded to racism and diversity. Teach out loving others well.
  2. Children are not too young to talk about race. Research shows that by three months old, babies notice differences in race. By two years old, children use race to understand the behavior of others. By two and a half, they use race to pick peers to play with. By five years old, children have many of the same racial biases that adults do and use race to assign status. Silence allows racial bias to grow. Discussing issues of race and racism teaches children to celebrate diversity.

 

  1. Use developmentally appropriate language. Adjust your conversation based on your child’s age. Scripts for talking to your child by age are below.
  1. Be kind and gracious and have open conversations. Avoid judgment or shaming. Be aware of your tone. Instead of quickly telling children not to say something biased and shutting them down, kindly and calmly correct them while also explaining that it is okay to talk about race and differences and pointing to unjust practices. (ex: Instead of “Shh..Don’t say that,” you can say “We don’t use words like that because they have been used to treat people unfairly”). Ask children what they already know and allow them to talk freely. Then follow up on your points or concerns.  Be aware of the language you use when talking about other people.
  2. Take Action Together. Find ways for your family to practically take action to fight for justice together. Buy books with diverse characters (https://diversebookfinder.org/). Support local, African American owned businesses (https://303magazine.com/2020/06/black-owned-businesses-denver/). Make donations to organizations like the Equal Justice Initiative (https://eji.org/). Get to know people who are different than you.  Hear their stories and learn from them. Have conversations about why these actions are important.
  3. Examine your own biases and model ways to respond Biblically. When children see adults look away from injustices or avoid difficult conversations, they learn to do the same. Take some time to educate yourself, examine your own biases, and consider the ways that you respond to diversity. Model for your children that you are reflecting on these important issues and taking action too!

 

Sometimes we get so excited about the potential of children that we forget that they also embody a powerful presence now. We hope that these guidelines will support your children in being gospel filled, justice seeking, kingdom workers now! Please let us know if you have any additional questions or would like any additional support. We believe this email is just the beginning of a lifelong dialogue about justice and racial equality.  We are here to support you and walk with you through this sometimes difficult topic. If you feel that your child or family would benefit from additional mental health support during these times, we are happy to help connect you to services at Grace Counseling, Denver Health, or other community agencies.

Please reach out to us! We are happy to help support you!

 

Aha! Parenting

https://www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doctor-1/talking-with-children-about-racism-police-brutality-and-protests

 

American Academy of Pediatrics

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/emotional-wellness/Building-Resilience/Pages/Talking-to-Children-About-Racial-Bias.aspx

 

American Psychological Association https://www.apa.org/res/parent-resources/engaging-my-child

 

Children’s Hospital Colorado

https://www.childrenscolorado.org/conditions-and-advice/parenting/parenting-articles/talk-about-racism-protests-with-children/

 

CNN/Sesame Street

https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/06/app-news-section/cnn-sesame-street-race-town-hall-app-june-6-2020-app/index.html