Written by Ken Curry LMFT
Men are notorious for waiting before taking care of personal or health stuff. We will hesitate until the last minute (if we go at all) to go to the dentist or the dreaded prostate check. Often it will be our woman who schedules the appointment. Our cars get more regularly scheduled maintenance!
There are reasons for this. The majority of men are gifted at improvising and figuring out a good fix. We are problem solving machines. We will do everything in our power to find a solution on our own before asking questions or seeking help. This “superpower” serves us well in many contexts; getting us out of jams at work, figuring out how to get the car started on the side of the road or dealing with a flood in the basement. We will find a way out, it’s what we do.
But as with most strengths, it also comes with a potential downfall; we won’t ask for help. The truth is there are a number of matters in life that we need to ask for help. You need someone with skill to check your teeth, your prostate and your blood pressure. You need someone with skill to help you build tools to manage your stress and anger, strengthen your relationships or eliminate porn from your life. Our community is full of skilled healers. It takes courage to ask for help when you need it.
We hesitate until things get desperate. The hesitation actually compounds already difficult life-altering consequences. It takes observation to notice when your relationship is starting down a path you don’t like, anger happening more often, you’re feeling less alive or you get stuck in unhealthy patterns. But it takes wisdom to move on it.
You see men all around you falling by the wayside. Divorce, depression and even suicide are happening around us with regularity. It does not have to be this way for you. Someone once said, “A smart man learns from his mistakes, a wise man learns from other’s mistakes.” If you are experiencing anything that feels like it is heading down a path toward personal or relational difficulty don’t hesitate. If you are beginning to notice your anger increase, anxiety increase or personal well-being decrease, don’t hesitate to ask for help.
Don’t become a statistic; ask for help before things get ugly. Use your problem solving skill to gather some tools in your personal toolbox to master your relationships and your own personal well-being. Don’t hesitate!
The main focus in my practice is helping men through all the stuff we wrestle with in life. I have many tools that will help you move through life with vigor and strength. I have groups available to build your strong core of integrity to defeat your struggles. Give me a call. Ken