-Written by Robin Gorsuch, M.A., LPC, RPT
Why Do I Feel This Way?
Big-T vs little-t Trauma
I think it’s safe to assume that you’ve heard the word trauma. The word typically makes us think of combat experience, being a first responder, the victim of an assault, or having a serious car accident.
But did you know that traumatic experiences come in many different sizes?
The examples above are considered “big T” traumas. However, we can have a trauma response to experiences that, on the surface, seem like part of everyday life. Maybe you didn’t get a promotion or that new job you had hoped for. An important relationship may have left you feeling empty or let down. You or your child may have had to say goodbye to a best friend because you or the other person moved, or you’ve just outgrown the relationship. For both children and adults, it can be the death of a beloved pet or feeling like you failed an important task at work or test at school.
What’s the difference between a little-t trauma and a disappointment?
These experiences can result in little t trauma if they are related to an aspect of your self-identity, an important life goal, or violate a core value you hold. I’ve experienced things that, on the surface, seemed like no big deal but my emotional response told another story. This was because the event threatened my sense of well-being in one of the ways mentioned above.
How can I tell if I’ve been affected by little-t trauma?
Little t traumas can be likened to “death by a thousand cuts.” You can’t pinpoint a single event, but you don’t feel like yourself anymore and you’re not sure why. You may feel weighed down by life, you don’t feel rested when you wake up, you lack motivation, or you find it hard to enjoy your favorite activity or hanging out with family or friends. Children and adolescents often express these feelings in the form of being irritable.
The connection between trauma and grief
If you or a loved one has experienced trauma in any form, grief and loss are naturally going to follow. In the case of little t trauma, the loss is often symbolic rather than an actual loss (although not always). It’s often these accumulated losses that leave you feeling “meh” in life.
Is there any hope?
If any of this sounds familiar, I encourage you to contact me or another therapist here at Grace to explore the possibility that you or your child has been affected by one or more seemingly inconsequential experiences. Depending on the number and type of things you’ve been through, it may take time and a commitment to the process but it’s possible to feel like yourself again and find joy and meaning in your life.
Robin Gorsuch, M.A., LPC, RPT has a master’s degree in clinical counseling, is a registered play therapist, and has worked with families and individuals ages preschool to seniors for almost ten years on a variety of issues. If you or someone you love is interested in seeking out help here in the South Denver Area, consider booking an appointment with Robin by calling 720.489.8555 or by contacting our general admin.
Leave A Comment