We have all heard the phrase, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” The idea is simple: you have to promote self-care and taking care of yourself before giving to others. Showing compassion and caring for others can be fulfilling and life-giving, yet at the same time it can be draining, demanding, and a person can often receive little to no appreciation for their efforts. Your cup of your time, energy, emotions, and resources tends to get poured out over and over again. In this age of social distancing, remote working, following health guidelines, and caring for family members, even more people are finding themselves in positions of caring for others and forgetting their own needs. What little you have left in your cup gets poured out as you try to maintain control and hold everything and everyone together.

Often times, our cups can get holes poked in them, so even if we are not pouring out, they can still be drained quickly. These holes can look like a strained relationship with a loved one, a poor boundary with work, or even an untreated mental illness. These holes drain your ability to show up for others with compassion and kindness. They can also prevent you from showing up for yourself by recognizing your own needs. 

The intentions of this phrase, “you can’t pour from an empty cup,” are wonderful, however I would say that this phrase doesn’t go far enough. What would it look like if instead of a pouring out, it was an overflow from a full cup? How do we patch the holes, learn to fill our cups, and then overflow onto others?

We are now approaching the year mark of a global pandemic. The stress has affected everyone in numerous ways, but this post is for those of you who find yourself in helping positions — jobs, careers, or even stages of life where you are caring for others, giving to others, or helping others. Our frontline workers and medical professionals have been the true heroes this past year, giving tirelessly of their time, energy, skills, and compassion. But what happens when that giving becomes draining, the cup begins to pour out, or those holes in the bottom of the cup deplete your resources quickly? When this happens over a prolonged period of time without rest or relief this can lead to Compassion Fatigue. Compassion Fatigue is a type of stress or exhaustion that can affect you physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually that is often caused by caring for people who are suffering or have experienced trauma. Closely related to Compassion Fatigue are Vicarious Trauma, secondary traumatic stress, or burnout. 

Let’s look at some of the signs and symptoms of Compassion Fatigue so that you can recognize it when it happens, find help when you are experiencing it, and learn how to prevent it.

Signs and Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue:

  • Chronic physical and emotional exhaustion
  • Irritability, anger, or anxiety
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Weight loss or gain
  • Headaches
  • Poor job satisfaction
  • Poor work/life balance
  • Feelings of self-contempt
  • Isolating or withdrawal from others
  • Loss of pleasure in activities
  • Feelings of hopelessness
  • Feeling burdened by others’ suffering
  • Poor self care
  • Reduced feelings of sympathy or empathy
  • Dreading working for or taking care of another

The Professional Quality of Life scale is a resource for you to self-assess your level of compassion fatigue and how satisfied you are with your work and quality of life.

Compassion Fatigue is only going to continue to grow as a problem unless more people are made aware of it, and more workplaces or professionals can implement changes to prevent it. Professional counseling is one of the ways that a person can intervene to prevent further stress or trauma. Knowing causes and identifying the signs and symptoms of compassion fatigue are the first steps in growing awareness of this problem. In the next blog we will talk about what to do if you or someone you know is experiencing compassion fatigue and how counseling can help.

 

Danica Hungerford is a Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate with experience as a caregiver in many settings. She is passionate about helping the helpers and has openings for in person or online sessions. Contact her or the front desk to request an appointment!