-Written by Sarah Harrison, M.A., LMFT

The potential for making new friends can be a fun and exciting part of starting a new school year. It can also bring a normal and healthy dose of anxiety as many experiences that are new (or not so new!) to us. I’ve compiled a list of quick tips to help us tolerate those butterflies in our stomachs when we put ourselves out there to make new friends at school. The best part is that you can use these tips anywhere! So whether you are joining a new sports team, starting at a new school, or wanting to expand upon your current friend group, here are some guidelines to help:

Be a good listener.

What makes a good listener isn’t just knowing when to make listening “noises” (uh huh, oh, that’s cool) but also showing genuine interest in what the other person is saying. Try to remember what you heard and follow up on things. For example: “How was the concert you said you were going to?” Ask questions! Almost everyone likes to talk about themselves or to feel others are interested in them. “What kind of music do you like?” “What do you do for fun?”. Don’t forget to make a little eye contact.

Be positive, kind, and yourself.

Trying to impress others rarely works out. Be genuine and try to appear confident. When you are kind to people, they are generally kind back. And people are drawn to those who are upbeat and positive. Say hi when you see someone and ask them how they are doing. A smile goes a long way!

Find common ground.

Friendships are often made based on shared experiences. Ask about or point out common interests or experiences. “I think you’re in my homeroom” “ You like [band name from shirt] me too!” Join a group related to one of your interests (art, sport, church). When you see the same people regularly, it can be easier to spark a friendship. Giving compliments is another great way to draw others in and connect “I like your shoes” or “you’re good at this—could you show me how to do that?”

Play fair.

Take turns during games and activities. Letting others go first or calmly waiting until they have taken their turn makes activities way more fun for kids, and they will enjoy doing things with you. Be polite and say please and thank you. Be patient with others and respect their personal space. Try not to play too rough when first getting to know someone. Don’t be too bossy and let others make decisions as well “what would you like to do?” Invite others to hang out or do something together.

If you notice your child struggling to interact with their peers, try some of these coaching tips at home. If they continue to struggle and you find yourself needing more support, don’t hesitate to reach out to one of our qualified therapists.

Sarah Harrison, M.A., LMFT works with children of all ages, families, and couples to tackle the issues that arise within different family dynamics. She also performs reintegration therapy and psychological evals for those estranged from their family that is looking to reconnect. If you or someone you love is interested in seeking help here in the South Denver Area, consider booking an appointment with Sarah by calling 720.489.8555 or contacting our general admin.